|
|
Post by Elek on Nov 20, 2010 16:54:40 GMT -5
THIRST
I had a dream the other night,
I met a thirsty man.
He lay beneath a dripping faucet,
Catching what drops he can.
I looked around and I did see,
Other faucets flowing
How could all these faucets flow
Without this poor man knowing.
“Sir,” I called, “Why drink there?
And keep thy thirst a burning?”
“These drops are the sweetest, Sir,”
He answered without turning.
“Would not these faucets quench thy thirst?”
I asked without abandon.
“This one promises to flow.”
His tongue posed for drops to land on.
I shook my head and turned to leave.
“Sir I don’t interfere as a rule,
But if you don’t mind my saying,
You, good sir, are a fool.”
And as I set out on the path
In the way that I would go
I heard the man call out to me
“Tell me something I don’t know!” |
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Dec 14, 2010 10:34:38 GMT -5
Merry Christmas, one and all! And sorry I’m a little late in this.
Anyway, I really hate doing holiday specials of ANY kind, but frankly, I’m pissed off at all the neo-yuppie scumbags hellbent on removing the Christmas spirit from the Christmas season!
Every year around the holiday, some jackoff has to go complaining to some court about how he hates Christmas and how there’s some manger scene with baby Jesus offending him at the local SCHOOL.
Well, who the Fuck cares? If someone decides to toss a baby Jesus out on the front lawn during the holidays, WHAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM?!?!
And that’s another thing: Ya know how schools used to have Christmas plays and shit like that? THEY DON’T DO THAT ANYMORE!! And if they do, they remove all the songs that have any reference to religion in them. No Silent Night; no Joy to the World; and no fucking little drummer bastard.
These are the same types of institutions that tell you to be tolerant of everyone else’s beliefs, but try to beat every hint of good old Saint Nick out of Christmas.
How can anyone be offended by a fat guy who gives out free stuff?!
What, are pissed at Santa because he’s fat and happy and perfectly content with his image?
It’s like all these neo-yuppies want to give him an inferiority complex and put him on a fucking Fat-kins diet.
And that’s why I like Santa: Because he’s a fat bastard; works one day a year; is actually happy; and eats all the cookies he wants!!
He rewards the good, and PUNISHES THE GUILTY.
Kinda like a vigilante with gifts.
(Meh-heh-heh!)
And just so you know where I’m coming from, I’m not one of these preachy religious fanatics; I don’t go to church; and I couldn’t care less about humanity’s issues with the various gods they worship.
I JUST WANT CHRISTMAS TO BE CHRISTMAS!!
Without some fucking jackass telling me not to sing Christmas songs because it has religious overtones.
Leave the Christmas folk alone!
‘Tis the season TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A WHINY LITTLE BITCH!
Stop ruining the holidays, you neo-yuppie scumbag!!
Or I’ll beat you with the baby Jesus!
So, Merry Christmas, one and all, and I don’t care who says what.
(Believe in the power of Santa! Or get nothing! Hmm-ha!!)
You’re gonna get coal in your stocking ‘cuz you’re yuppie scu-u-u-u-m-m-m-m. Just means more gifts for me. KEEP PISSING SANTA OFF!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Dec 14, 2010 12:53:33 GMT -5
For folks who use Facebook, or any other social network…
Tell me these things aren’t just a fucking mass of time sinks of annoyance and idiocy. Seriously; the first thing that bothers me about the whole social network thing…the people. Not your actual friends. I’m talking about the dumbass shit for brains assholes who used to pick on you in high school; all of a sudden wants to be your friend. Or, the ex significant other from years gone by, who was cheating on you, now…wants to be…your friend.
“Add me.”
Are you fucking serious??
Here’s what each and every one of you assholes needs to do before requesting to be someone’s friend…especially mine…
Think for a moment; use some self reflecting. Search your soul. Ask yourself, is there any way I may have wronged this person in the past?
“Well, I did blow his boyfriend during his birthday party, but he wouldn’t hold that against me would he? No…ADD ME!”
The other type of asshole that irks me is the purposeless twit who has deluded themselves into thinking they’re saving the world by using your page to post comments and articles about some hippy legalize it and save the chinchilla propaganda bullshit. These people need to shoot themselves in the head, with a nail gun.
I also don’t like when friends of friends, ask me to add them as a friend…You’re their friend, they know me…you don’t. Move along…OK?
Listen idiots, morons, assholes, shitbags, whores and ex anything of any kind, need not apply for friendship status. I would rather set your current or future children on fire than press the add button and have you on my friends list. Do you hear me? If you missed that…read it again.
The other thing that drives me nuts are all these time wasting quizzes everyone feels the need to send you. What type of cake are you? Who were you in a past life? What Family Guy character do you most resemble? Are all you goofy bastards so bored that you need to figure out what kind of cake you are? Oh, my God! I’m a vanilla cake with pink frosting! Yeah well, I’m an asbestos cake lined with glass and syringes! BITE ME! If you hated taking quizzes in school, why the fuck would you take one during your free time?
I also don’t care about virtual farming or virtual mafia wars. I don’t care if you grow an 8-bit corn or if you put out a hit on someone. I don’t want to participate in a virtual pillow fight and I don’t care if you were Edgar Casey in a previous life. I don’t want assholes from the past, all of a sudden getting all chummy with me and I certainly don't care what number two pencil I am.
Stop wasting my time and go…die.
For the cool people I used to know, the three of you I can remember; I look forward to hearing from you. Everyone else…if you haven’t spoken to me in 10 years, why ruin a good thing?
Fucking assholes…
“Add me as a friend!”
Go fuck yourself…
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Dec 17, 2010 20:45:50 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Dec 31, 2010 0:56:28 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Jan 15, 2011 14:18:35 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Jan 19, 2011 20:55:57 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Feb 22, 2011 14:22:33 GMT -5
~  ~ Looming low and ominous in twilight premature, thunderheads are rumbling in a distant overture.
All at once the clouds are parted, light streams down in bright unbroken beams.Follow mans eyes as they look to the skies!The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams.[/i][/b][/size][/font]  Date:
Setting:
Actors:[/i][/color][/size][/font] ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~[/center] FIRST LETTER OF YOUR FIRST WORD GOES INSIDE THE COLOR TAGS AND TEXT GOES HERE.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Word count|
Outfit|
Tags|
Music|
Notes|
Credits| This template was made by King Smexi
[/font][/blockquote][/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Feb 28, 2011 0:35:19 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Elek on Mar 11, 2011 14:35:46 GMT -5
|
|
[/center]
